Please don’t read if you’re pregnant and anxious, I don’t want to make it worse!
She’s here! Our baby girl arrived November 13, 2016 at 2:22 PM after a long, scary delivery.
I was due November 1st, however I was two weeks late – which is pretty typical for a first birth (so I’m told). So, on Friday November 11th I went in for my second non-stress test and first fluid test, our induction was scheduled for the following Monday if everything was still healthy. My mom and “aunt” Melody had just come into town from South Carolina and they went with us to the hospital, for extra support. We ended up having to stay at the hospital because our fluids were too low, but luckily we had packed all of our bags up just in case. My mom swears she knew that we would have to stay. My midwife decided, for safety reasons, to induce us Friday night because of how low our fluids were. At first, they tried a foley balloon (ouch), because they felt that would be the safest options… but my cervix wouldn’t take it. Literally right after the attempt, I barely began contacting naturally, so they gave me a constant stream of Pitocin in hopes of speeding up the process. This went on all of Friday and Saturday. At one point Saturday her heart rate dropped significantly and they considered a emergency c section but luckily at that time, they didn’t have to. Our wonderful team got her heart rate up again. Sunday, early morning , I woke up vomiting on and off and couldn’t stop. I had over a 102 fever and was in extreme pain. Still in labor. They kept upping my Pitocin and epidural to relieve it, along with a pill to stop the nausea… and then decided that I was dilated enough and she needed to come. We pushed and pushed, then her heart rate decided to rise to 180, she was stressed and stuck. The look on my midwives’ face was enough to scare anyone, she then told me that I couldn’t give it one more push I would have to have an emergency c section, or they would have to vacuum her out of me.. I was in the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, I could feel her stuck in there and anytime that they tried to adjust me, it was a terrible pain. I’m not sure how (I’m convinced it was angels that assisted) but we pushed her out with one more push…. I know that I was determined to see my precious baby girl, and I didn’t want her or myself to be in pain anymore. When she came out she couldn’t breath and her heart stopped, the NICU team was already there and they took her immediately to get her breathing and her heart working! My nurses and midwives blocked me so I couldn’t see what was going on, which was the worst feeling. I looked over at my significant other and then at my mom and saw them looking and her and crying, so I knew something was wrong. They got her to breath then rushed her to the NICU. I wasn’t given the normal birth story… to hold her right away.. They told me later that they were assisting her with breathing and monitoring her heart rate. That we both had an infection and had to stay, but that she would be okay. Josh was the first to hold her, and he stayed by her side- he said that she immediately stopped crying when she was in his arms. This was literally the scariest day of my life. Hours later, they brought her to me with her little iv in her arm. Josh filmed our first meeting. I’m posting it here, the first time I’m sharing our story publicly. She’s the most beautiful miracle.
(well in like 7 days, but for me it’s been here since September 1st August 27th…whoops.)
I might have a little bit of an obsession with changing leaves, scarecrows, fall clothing, and pumpkin spice flavored EVERYTHING! I literally used a gift card from a year ago to buy out the pumpkin spice flavored Cheerios at Target. My pregnant self loves them, and so does this little babe in my belly.
SOOOO I wanted to decorate, but we are on a very TIGHT budget. We are have a one income household, and a baby on the way in like 6 weeks. Therefore, this decor had to be under $30 TOTAL. Now was the time for me to channel my own mother, and super shop the heck out of some fall decor. So I went to the local thrift stores, Big Lots and the Dollar Tree. I figured I could use my artistic experience to create something magical out of anything.
Here’s what I got…
Now I will tell you (left to right first row, then bottom) where each is from and the price! Then, at the bottom the total! Happy hunting!
Pumpkin table runner – Big Lots for $6
Pumpkin decor with sunflower in it- Dollar Tree $1
Glitter pumpkin decor- Dollar Tree $1
Pumpkin Ginger Candle- Big Lots for $5
Acorn “Give Thanks” hanger- Dollar Tree $1
Standing Scarecrow- Dollar Tree $1
Leaf Garland – Bin Thrift Store ¢.50 (I was searching for these, and they were $15 every where else, this one was literally still attached to the tag that was a $15 tag)
Standing window scarecrow – Dollar Tree $1
Glitter pumpkin decor- Dollar Tree (same bag that I got in #3).
I’ll try not to make this one lengthy, because I do know that I tend to have a short attention span, so I’m sure others do as well.
Lately, I’ve been studying 1 Samuel, which focuses on the life of David. I’ve never realized how much I feel connected to David, or how much we (people in 2016) can relate to David. Most of us have heard the story of David, even if we haven’t submerged ourselves completely in it. The cliff notes version is that David is a young man, who serves God. He shows up on to a battle between the Israelites and the Phillistines (he’s on the Israelites side) and volunteers himself to defeat Goliath- who is a giant at 9 feet, wearing armor that is 125 pounds itself- this guy is HUGE. He’s so large, and so scary that the other Israelites refuse to face him one-on-one. David offers, knowing he has the strength of God behind him. The best part is that David DEFEATS this giant of a man, Goliath, with just a sling and a stone. It sounds impossible, but the entire time David is confident in God and his strength that he knows that, with God, he has more strength than any army. This faith, this unwavering trust in the Heavenly Father is what allowed David to conquer the “unconquerable”.
Of course I’m not saying that we (the people of 2016) have to fight any literal giants. I feel like our giants come in different forms. Our giants are things such as: a boss that won’t consider us for a deserved promotion; a conflict with our neighbor or friends over religion and politics; a toxic friendship or relationship; relationships that are filled with love but unequally yoked; anxiety that pulls at our hearts and minds daily; fear of missing out on adventures in life; envy over the lives of others; financial struggles; addiction struggles; feeling like a failure; children who won’t be a part of your lives even though you desperately want them to; struggles with body image issues; struggles with keeping faith. Our giants come in all forms. They are obstacles that we just can’t seem to conquer, no matter how hard we try, and when we fail we feel as though that means we are failing at life… we feel worthless. Why do we continue to fail? When reading 1 Samuel 17, I realized why we or I continue to fail consistently. It’s simple- I’m not (we’re not) relying on God. I’m trying to overcome my giants on my own, without trusting that he is behind me to lift me up right when I fall. God knows what our giants are, he knows what we are struggling with and he knows when and how to defeat them. He’s going to send us the answer to win the battle at the exact time that we need it. I’m not necessarily saying that just because I pray once about a struggle I’m having that it’s instantly going to to be gone. That’s not life, and that’s not realistic with the human mind and heart. What I’m saying is that, when the struggle comes up- I (we) need to have faith that it will be conquered at just the right time. The answer will reveal itself. Instead of doubting the outcome, I (we) need to have unwavering faith that WE WILL conquer it- with God behind us. David’s faith was unshaken when he was faced with the giant. He had not only his army, but Goliath’s army also, doubting his success- just knowing he would fail. However, David didn’t listen to the nay-sayers. David didn’t listen to those trying to place doubts in his mind. David didn’t fall back when people thought he was crazy for trying ,crazy for fighting. David stood up strong, knowing the Lord of the earth was backing him %100.
This is what we need to do. I know for certain that I need to do this. I am constantly at a battle with myself- letting doubts and fears overcome me and when I do that, I don’t move forward. I fall back, allowing myself to be defeated. I need to focus on the simple fact that God never leaves, even when it feels like the whole world could crumble around you. God doesn’t waver, neither should my faith in him.
I challenge y’all to do the same. To focus on putting all of your faith in God. Let him help you defeat your giants.
Before I dive in, let me “sidebar” this by telling you, God absolutely knows what you need when you need it- whether you’re open to this idea or not. I was ready to divulge everything I’ve been going through recently in this post, yet I was at a loss for words. Then, something in me said “turn on Mercy Me radio on Pandora”, so I did. Right as I did, one of their songs (“Dear Younger Me”) that has spoken to me big time over this past month or two was the very first song to pop up. Whoa. To you, this might cause an eye-roll. So what? Songs you love come on Pandora all of the time. To me, this was a mini miracle. Telling me not to think, but to type. To let him speak through my fingers. So … I suppose this is where I begin, I will add the link to this song at the end of this post so y’all can give it a listen.
Life.
It’s an emotional rollercoaster- filled with lessons and blank pages just waiting to be filled with your story. It’s beautiful, scary, fantastic, outlandish and laughable all in the same ___ amount of years that you’re given on this earth.
Here’s the problem that I’ve encountered (recently and repeatedly in the past): understanding that I am never going to be the societal view of perfection. I’m not going to live up to these imaginary standards. The worst part is- I’m the one setting these standards! Sure- society pushes us in a direction of how we should look, act and feel. However, we’re the ones that allow them to tell us how we should think… What the cool way to live our lives are… If we don’t: drink this brand of liquor, wear this name of designer, vote for this candidate, sing the lyrics of this new hit, drive the perfect car, marry the perfect prince/princess from the storybooks, act a certain way, sleep with x amount of people, travel the world… well then we aren’t worth it. Here’s the thing. Who told you this mattered? Chances are you got this idea from someone else who is battling this same battle as you. Wanting to fit in, wanting to fit this mold. And what happens when we don’t? Well, I don’t know about y’all, but I get absolutely down on myself. Why don’t I have a ton of money to buy things? Why don’t I drive that Mercedes? Why don’t I have the perfect job? Why can’t I afford travel to Europe on a fancy trip? Why don’t people see me as a beautiful object of their affection? Why can’t I eat oreos and not gain weight? Why am I not musical talented? Why am I so terrible with words? WHAT is wrong with me? Where did I go wrong and the lucky ones go right?
STOP!
All of the aforementioned is what I’ve struggled with. Trying to make myself into this perfect version of a human being that doesn’t exist. We don’t need to be viewed as perfect to the world. None of those things matter in the end. When you pass away, you’re leaving behind all of your worldly possessions. They will be carried on for a short while by your family and friends, but even the most famous celebrities that have existed cannot take their riches, fame, popularity, and ‘stuff’ with them. Why? Why isn’t this an option? Why can’t we take the items, the looks, and the things we’ve earned throughout our lives? This is what I’ve asked myself. What’s the point of it all? The point is: THOSE THINGS DO NOT MATTER.
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
-1 Samuel 16:7
I stumbled across this verse the other day, and it hit me like a semi truck. It crashed into me. A slap in the face- towards the right direction. We’re not the only ones to have dealt with this, we aren’t the only ones who’ve felt this way. Who have unknowingly let our lives be dictated by the outward beauty, the material things…. Samuel even dealt with this- far before we were even a twinkle in our mother’s eyes. He instinctively assumed that best looking, strongest, tallest man would be king. He only looked on the outside.
These are some of the most cliche, silliest trials – yet somehow I’ve gotten sucked back into them repeatedly. I’ve allowed my life to follow the direction of them instead of him. I grew up with a mother who was passionate for God, and I was handed the material. I’ve loved God, but I’ve gone through my trials and my rebellions against him. Somehow I fall, even though he’s been there to cushion me and guide me. I’ve repeatedly rejected him and his help. In doing so, I’ve struggled with ALL of the above! Looking for acceptance from everyone but the one who has accepted me before I was created. I’ve spent nights sobbing because I felt as though I wasn’t good enough for anyone to accept me as a friend- though he accepted me as a friend the entire time. The craziest part is that right when I cried out to God, when I exposed my deepest fears aloud to him, when I decided that I was going to rely on him rather than other people…then was when the pressure got a little lighter. I would be lying if I said it completely disappeared- I’m only human. However… each and every time I’ve spent one on one with him, studied his word, and trusted him with my fears … each of those times the pressure on my shoulders and heart felt a little lighter. As it does each day since I have let him completely guide my adult life. Which, honestly, was the HARDEST decision. I’m stubborn, I want my way. I want to control my own life, even if I’m steering it off of a cliff- I want to be in control of the wheel. However, I’m never full when I do that. Something is always missing, he’s missing.
I know I will continue to struggle for a while with letting him have complete control over my whole life: the negative and the positive. However, in allowing him to steer the car, I know that I’ll be headed in the right direction. There is a peace over me. Unlike when I steer it alone- I never really know what the outcome will be, and that is terrifying to me. I have to trust in the morals and path that he’s set for me…for us. That he’s laid out. Honestly, I feel as though I’ve done a decent job since I’ve let him guide my existence- versus before when I was blindly feeling my way through. I still have a lot to learn, and a lifetime of trust to give him However, this direction is the only direction.
But Lindsey, why share all of this with the internet?
Solid question. My answer is simple. Because I wish when I was a “younger me” that I would have had someone around my current age (27) to tell me that I didn’t have to be perfect, and that nobody was perfect. I wish I had someone to tell me that it was all okay. I wish then I would have known someone who had gone through the struggles that I mentioned. I wish that people wouldn’t have been so sensitive and tiptoed around the hard topics.. like sex, money, looks, screwing up like a human does. I wish someone would have shook my shoulders and said “GOD IS LISTENING, CRY OUT TO HIM.” I’m exposing my struggles because I want whomever is in the position of those similar struggles to know that it’s going to be okay, once you give him your pain, relief is inching around the corner. I want that girl or boy, woman or man to know that even though you won’t feel the anxiety disappear instantly… that it will get lighter and easier with each and every prayer, every chapter you read, every song you dedicate to him, and every time you trust in him fully- it gets better. You’re not alone.
I recently took a much needed month off from blogging for personal reasons, however, I AM BACK! I’m reconsidering my current blog name, though South Carolina is and always will be a large part of my life. Any suggestions? Feel free to comment or e-mail me about it at dixielullabiesblog@gmail.com! If we change the name, I’ll adjust the e-mail as well! So my current blog topics will stand (first time-motherhood, some beauty, health, fitness after baby) but I will also now be incorporating christianity and my journey with the Lord into this! So if you have any name suggestions- PLEASEEEEE give them! I’m a sucker for cutesy, quirky names- so be my creative guest! I would like to have this updated by end of next week!
Have you, or anybody that you’ve known, spent high dollar ($$$$$) on bathroom/kitchen/etc cleaners to insure the safety of the little hands and feet that touch LITERALLY EVERYTHING THEY CAN? Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. If you didn’t say guilty… well I’m just assuming that everyone said guilty.
Moving along.
My friend Jen Turner may be the epitome of a mom superhero and genius. She very well may be, in fact- I’m convinced she is! She makes her own baby food, makes healthy food for her and her fiancé, runs around all day with a toddler and a baby, has a perfectly clean house, finds time to stay in AHH-MAZ-ING shape, AND this just in—- SHE MAKES HER OWN CLEANER!! Say what? If you want to pick anyone to model your goals after, pick her.
I was able to get Jen’s homemade cleaning recipe, and see it at work for myself. When she cleaned off her kitchen counter, I swear I’d never felt something so clean. It cleans everything safely, so your kids and you can touch it. It also leaves zero streaks, works on every surface, it’s easy-breezy to make, AND it’s super cheap! Jen was gracious enough to let me get the insight on her genius recipe, and I got her permission to share it with y’all! Is it Christmas? In mom world, this might be close to Christmas.
The ingredients:
That’s right, just these three. You measure out equal parts rubbing alcohol & vinegar, then just a few drops of Dawn soap. Mix it up really well then store it! Jen uses an old spray bottle, but you can use anything.
Jen says that these three bottles made for 4 bottles of cleaner!!! That’s a deal. Considering that most quality cleaners cost anywhere between 5.50-10.00, this only cost her around 2.00-3.00 for all of the products, and it lasts her way longer!
Organized our room so the baby can navigate around it? √
Deep clean the floor boards so no virus can spread through touching them? √
Purchased books so that my baby girl is the next pulitzer prize novelist? √
Empty each shower drain of hair ? √
Searched online of surrounding predators and potential threats to baby? √
Come up with a detailed plan of action in case said predator creeps on my offspring?√
Doubletriple quadruple check to make sure every window locks (even though we may be on the second floor, it doesn’t mean that spiderman cannot attempt to steal my baby.)√
Okay, jokes aside (except I may or may not have done 8/8 things on this list), nesting is a legit stage in pregnancy. It slowly creeps in around your second trimester, and towards your 6th month, it hits full force. Your mind is hyper focused on the craziest, tiniest details. At this point in time, your significant other is almost used to the pregnancy breakdowns…. however he may not be used to the new crazy nesting habits of the mommy to be. In the midst of you cleaning your faucets with a q-tip (yes, my friend Rachelle really did this), you may have the urge to go out and purchase the strongest most expensive cleaner; the newest and best couch; oh heck- just redo the whole house while you’re at it. RESIST THE URGE TO SPLURGE! I repeat…. RESIST THE URGE TO SPLURGE. Just set your mind to thoughts on future diapers, wipes and formula. Instead of splurging for new decor and furniture- try and work with what you have, try some feng shui , add in cheap decor, and deep clean the bajeezus out of your little home!
Easy Nesting Fixes:
Spray paint old mason jars/wine bottles, add some fake flowers and place them on your end tables, night stands, and bookshelves.
Make your own organic cleaner! My friend Jen has a special recipe she swears by, I will get it to add onto the site soon.
Don’t hire someone to deep clean your carpets- that can cost you 100-300 dollars a pop. Instead, rent a rug doctor machine (advertising for my stepdad) and buy your own deep cleaner. This will last for every room in your house AND it’ll be less than $100. Josh found us a rug doctor pet odor cleaner for $17! You only use 1/2 a cup per gallon of hot water. Save that money, money, moneeeyyyy!
Add some fresh curtains to your house- make them or buy them! I spy with my big eye…. affordable curtains to meet your needs on AMAZON!!! Go girl, go!
Focus on decorating your nursery! Chances are, your amazing family and friends are going to spoil your little peanut with clothes, gear and nursery decor! Whatever you don’t get, thrift for! OR diy!!! Spending hours on your nursery will help subside the little nest bug that’s in your ear.
Pick a room and deep clean it. Chances are, it’s going to take you a while. You’re pregnant, which means you’re probably moving slower and in need of more bathroom breaks and naps! SOOOO focusing on this will help that need to buy all of the things slip further into the back of your mind.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! My problem is I am at home soooo much that I’m finding more things I want to fix. Get out! Go to lunch, on a walk, to a movie, to your friends house, anywhere but home!
Okay, onward and upward! Be smart about your nesting needs vs. your nesting wants. GO NEST AWAY! It’s a normal part of pregnancy…at least that is what I am telling myself 🙂
Can I get a AMEN for the ladies who love collecting a variety of makeup, but have DOM PÉRIGNON dreams on a BUDWEISER budget? MMhhmm.. That’s me, y’all!My dreams at night involve wandering the aisles of Sephora, Mac and Ulta with a limitless amount of cash, and a bottomless bag. Those dreams both fulfill me and keep me up at night, because I’m excited at the thought of them, but I also can literally feel the emotions of my wallet- crying at it’s realistic state.😭If being on a budget were a sport in the Olympics, I would be a shoo-in for the gold medal.
Which brings me to this lovely blog post, entitled: Beauty Buzz on a Budget!!!As previously mentioned, I LOVE MAKE-UP. Josh and are lucky enough to have two full bathrooms in our house, which means I get a bathroom with full counter and under sink/drawer storage space ALL TO MYSELF (insert maniacal laugh). This is also very dangerous,because my hair, nail, and makeup stash continues to grow suspiciously- I have NO IDEA how this happens…I digress. Since I do love makeup to an unconditional amount, this means I must be wise on how I spend money on it. Especially since we have a little one on the way. I almost never pay full price (HELLO coupons, store rewards cards, etc); and only on rare occasion do I shop at the big wig stores- usually when there is a gift card of some sort involved. SOO I have learned to buy the best that my budget can buy- which is largely DRUG STORE buys!!! THEREFORE- I have designed a list of my favorite drug store makeupproducts, that won’t make you cry into your wallet after you buy them; however, you’ll look and feel like a Naked Pallet superstar!Test them out.Decide for yourself.HAPPY DRUG STORE HUNTING!
-Wet & Wild: contour palette, highlight stick,face primer, eyeshadow primer,eyebrow liner with brush attached, eyebrow filler palette, Matte lipstick, lip liner, 8 hour color stay lipstick, Coverall corrector, 24 hour setting spray, ultimate match spf15 liquid foundation.
-NYX: liquid eyeliner with brush, setting spray, long lasting soft matte lip cream, lip liner, cat eye liner.
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